Behaviour Management – Try a Little Forgiveness

behaviour management and forgivenessWhen I say - Using forgiveness in behaviour management, it is not in the biblical sense (although there is nothing wrong with that) but in the emotional sense. It’s easy to carry a grudge towards difficult students but it causes more problems than it solves. Give forgiveness a go.

The are some little turkeys who seem to raise your shackles just by entering your classroom. But it's not a good behaviour management tool. No ... don't hurl your pizza at me but try forgiveness.

It’s normal to be angry. We have a tendency to feel anger towards those who grieve us.

And believe me, some of those little turkeys you encounter WILL grieve you.

Anger is our default position when someone angers us, hurts us or challenges our authority as a teacher or relief teacher - and don't some kids like doing that!

It’s an extension of that initial rush of annoyance as well as frustration which comes over teachers when a student repeatedly wrecks a lesson, challenges our right and authority as a teacher.

But the key issue is that the choices you make within the seconds following these feelings, separate those who struggle with class room management and those who don't.

To become most effective at classroom and behaviour management you not only have to stop bad behavior in the moment but reduce the possibility of poor and inappropriate behaviour happening in the future.

You need a second to stop and regroup.

Don't Make Emotional Decisions in Behaviour Management.

You need a moment to remind yourself that letting emotion getting in the way of good behaviour management is always a blunder.

Do this regularly and constantly enough and managing student behaviour positively will be a calming feature of your classroom.

So much so that this will become habit-forming and you will wonder how you did without it.

Aggravation and annoyance, however, don’t just dissipate to the clouds or even become internalized into stress. Forgiveness will free you - (I feel like singing up "my child" but that would be silly.

Using forgiveness as a component of your behaviour management plan will take a huge emotional burden from you.

Your behaviour management will be positive and the kids in your classroom who seldom misbehave will recognise your professionalism.

Forgiveness is a pretty powerful behaviour management, teaching strategy and classroom management tool.

We can learn an awful lot from the priests who have been using this technique for thousands of years.

You see when you forgive someone

  • they know they have aggrieved you,
  • they understand that YOU know they have aggrieved you,
  • You hold the power to decided whether they should be forgiven.


  • soothes the poisonous, vengeful heart.
  • burns off heavily prepared walls regarding distrust, and
  • switch your roughest students into participative classroom members.

It keeps you ... well professional.

Behaviour Management is About Connection.

When it comes to effective behaviour management, it is important that you maintain your all-important connection with your students.

However it is vitally important that you also hold them accountable. Using forgiveness as a classroom and behaviour management technique allows you to expect a high standards of behaviour without bitterness.

Your students will recognise your professionalism and have the appropriate respect for you as a teacher.

Forgiveness is often a good de-stressor, the idea isn’t just a personal decision you make yourself.

Share it. Let your students know about it.

So when little Mary (who spent yesterday ruining your english lesson by her constant chatter) enters your classroom have a warm, heartfelt greeting and a pleasant smile. This day is a new one. The events of yesterday play no part in the events of today.

You see, forgiveness can be quite unsettling for the forgivee.

It is a "What The?" moment of Behaviour Management.

Offering the same pleasant greeting to your most recalcitrant student as to your A+ student, can be very powerful for the FORGIVER.

Forgiveness is the Berocca of the learning environment.

Forgiveness in your classroom can be like a breath of fresh air. Like an educational tonic.

You see some of the really awful kids play on the fact that teachers hate them. That is their persona. That is their power to their like-minded peers. They like unsettling teachers.

When it comes to effective behaviour management you want all the power in your court.

Behaviour Management Resources you might like to check out.

Behaviour Management in the Classroom cover

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