Real Teachers – Are there any out there?

Relief TeacherHow do you recognise Real Teachers?

That is the age-old question. Is there any such thing as a REAL teacher?

Real teachers mark papers in the car, during commercials, in staff meetings, in the bathroom, and (when reports are due) have been seen grading in the shower.

A Real teacher cheer when they hear ANZAC day does not fall on the weekend.

Real teachers clutch a pencil while thinking and make notes in the margins of books.

A Real teacher can't walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.

Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair.

Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning their backs on the class.

Real teachers are written up in medical journals for the size and elasticity of kidneys and bladders.

Real teachers have been timed gulping down a full lunch in 2 minutes, 18 seconds. Senior teachers can eat faster than that.

A Real teacher can predict exactly which parents will show up at parent/teacher interviews.

A Real teacher volunteers for duty on the days staff meetings are scheduled.

Real teachers never teach the conjugations of lie and lay to eighth graders.

A Real teacher knows it is better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.

Real teachers know the best end of semester lesson plans can come from Blockbuster.

Real teachers never take grades after Wednesday of the last  month of the term 4.

Real teachers know the shortest distance and the length of travel time from their classroom to the office.

Read teachers can "sense" gum.

Real teachers know the difference among what must be graded, what ought to be graded, and what probably should never again see the light of day.

Real teachers are solely responsible for the destruction of the rain forest.

Real teachers have their best conferences in the parking lot.

A real teacher has never heard an original excuse.

Real teachers buy Panadol and Advil in bulk.

A real teacher will eat anything that is put in the staff room.

Real teachers have the principals' and cleaners' home phone numbers.

A real teacher knows who really runs the school.

Real teachers know the rules don't really apply to them.

Real teachers hear the heartbeats of crisis; always have time to listen; know they teach students, not subjects; and they are absolutely non-expendable.

Do you have any others?

Write them in the comments box.

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